Do you believe in polyamory?

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I was asked that by FirstDate34. I should have taken it as a hint that I was never going to be her one and only. Honestly, it’s a weird question to be asked. Of course I believe in it – it exists. But clearly the question was loaded. I was being asked for a reason. It was like being asked, “do I look fat in this?” I was being tested, and I’m not sure if I passed. I do know that the same conversation contained this passage, “I think I would be fine with you getting more (sex) elsewhere if you need it.” Wait – what?!? Was I just handed a free hall pass? What do I do with this information. Our lack of proximity hurt our relationship, and to that end, I believe she was giving me the opportunity to maybe find somebody closer. And that meant she was probably looking for somebody closer too. So, while I cared about her deeply, I continued the First Date journey.

To directly answer the question, I have met polyamorous people, so I believe in polyamory. Jean and I had friends that were poly. Jean didn’t like that. She thought it was an excuse for the husband to have affairs at the expense of intimacy with the wife. That might be true, or they might honestly be happy with that type of relationship.

In the dating world, I’ve seen profiles with women that claimed to be poly. Was this just an attempt to cover up their infidelity? Were they on dating sites with their partner’s approval, or behind their back? I never matched with one, so I don’t know.

Would I ever want to be polyamorous? I don’t think so. I want to be in one romantic relationship at a time. I won’t say I never would be poly, only because I hate to use the world never, but I can’t see it happening. I mean, in one way, I will always be in love with Jean, and I want to be in love with somebody else someday. Does that make me polyamorous? I wouldn’t say so, because I no longer have a romantic relationship with Jean. It’s a weird thing for widows/widowers to have to consider. And probably even harder for their romantic partners to deal with. Hopefully, I’ll find somebody that understands that while I’ll never forget Jean, I can love them with all my heart.